Parmesan, How I Love Thee




I did not take this photo; I got it free here:
 www.thepublicdomainimages.com

I don't remember being a picky eater as a kid.  It's possible that I didn't have to be picky because my dad was picky.  He didn't like vegetables, grainy breads, rare meats, Chinese food or anything, you know, interesting.  Really, he ate like a little kid--left to his own devices, he'd eat McDonald's for lunch and cereal for dinner.  My mom--a 4-H champion cook--gave up trying to change his mind and just made the usual stuff: meat loaf, hamburgers, sloppy joes, cabbage rolls, spaghetti . . . there was variety, but a lot of the dad-approved meals boiled down to some kind of ground beef with some kind of sauce on it, accompanied by some kind of potatoes and ALWAYS white bread.

During tax season when Dad was working late, or on his poker, bowling or golf nights, Mom would cook other things or bring home Chinese food, or real Mexican food from the Sunnyside Cafe.  There weren't too many other types of food in southeast Michigan in the 80s.  One time she made liver (from a naughty runaway cow named Big Bertha, courtesy of her family farm in Indiana), and I liked it.  Weird, I know. 

Interestingly, my dad stopped objecting to some of his hated foods as he got older.  He eats rice and Chinese now, and he learned to bake Ukrainian Christmas cookies.  His steaks still have to be charred and covered with A-1 sauce, but I've seen him eat veggies and chicken breasts.  My mom secretly thinks that his own mother charred and overcooked everything that she ever cooked him when he was a kid--my grandmother was 1st generation Ukrainian, living in Pittsburgh when it was still a grotty steel town, so that's how food was supposed to be, right? 

So my brother and I weren't really challenged to eat a lot of veggies or unusual stuff.  I had certain foods that I didn't like at home, but if I went to someone else's house I'd eat them to be polite.  I didn't like rice (because of the texture) and I didn't like Swiss cheese, American cheese or Velveeta; I hated ketchup and mayonnaise, although the classic ketchup-and-mayo combo didn't bother me.  I passionately hated bologna.  I know--bologna, Velveeta and ketchup made up most of the diet of midwestern kids my age, but I really, really hated bologna. 

One time I was at a babysitter's house for a half-day from school, along with a whole bunch of other kids whose parents had to work.  The sitter made us all bologna sandwiches on white bread with mayo.  We were all eating outside on the swingset and I couldn't stand to eat mine, so the sitter's own kid told me to drop it in the dirt, and I wouldn't have to eat it.  I did, and went inside with the dirty sandwich, calmly telling the babysitter it was ok and I just needed to throw away this sandwich and get my after-lunch popsicle.  I ended up with a new sandwich.  I think she left the mayo off for me, though.  And she knew her kid too well-- she knew exactly how that sandwich got dirty.

I now love rice, I like mayo; everything else on that list I tolerate--except bologna.  The thought of it still makes me grimace.

Then there's mac-and-cheese.  As a kid, I didn't like macaroni and cheese.  Velveeta, remember?  My mom always made me macaroni with "sprinkle cheese"--Parmesan.  It was my number-one comfort food, and still is.  When I'd go to someone's house and their mom would make Kraft dinner, I would patiently explain (over my dish of already-prepared neon orange noodles) that MY mom always just put sprinkle cheese on macaroni.  I can't say for certain, but I'm pretty sure my friends' moms didn't like me very much. 

When I learned to cook lunch for myself, macaroni with Parmesan was right below peanut-butter-and-jelly.  In college I discovered ramen noodles, which taste great with Parmesan, and couscous, which not only tastes great but LOOKS LIKE Parmesan.  I also grudgingly tried, and liked, Kraft dinner.  My roommates and I turned vegetarian and basically lived on steamed rice, lentils (also good with Parmesan), mac-and-cheese, and omelets.  Sometimes we put the macaroni in the omelets.  One thing my roommate insisted on was getting fresh Parmesan, which was NOT the type we had in my house, of course.  Then I took to eating slices of Parmesan by itself.  Really. 

I came around eventually and don't eat Kraft dinner anymore, but I have discovered real mac-and-cheese, as you may have gathered.  I still put Parmesan on everything, though.  John jokes that, for me, pasta is just a delivery system for the Parmesan.  At home, the only reason I put sauce on spaghetti is to make the Parmesan stick to the noodles.  Holy crap, I just realized that while I was writing this entry, I thought mac-and-parm would be a great lunch and I got up to put water on the stove, without even thinking.

Anyway, I'm about to go to a friend's house for dinner.  I'm cooking, in honor of NDJ: spaghetti with marinara sauce, vegetables, garlic bread made without butter, and maybe some Italian sausage to make up for the lack of dairy.  There will be no Parmesan cheese.  I swear.